Tuesday, Aug 14, 2007 at 10:53 PM (Public Entry)

Where O where shall I begin!.....


I guess first off, I should introduce myself… I am Julie and this is my first try at doing a blog…. My plan is to share parts of my adoption story and how a local network of adoptive families was created ……CNHAF

I am an adoptive mom to a 2 yr old, born in Guatemala in 2005. Our daughter arrived into our arms on Thanksgiving Day in 2006 at the Mariott in Guatemala city, at 5.5 months old. Happy, healthy amazing and beautiful~ and a whirlwind of months to come. I am also a Bio Mom to a 7.5 yr old daughter… AKA “Mini Me” as my friends all refer to her because of our similar mannerisms and facial features and height…. She is tall, blond, blue eyes…. She is a very sweet, sensitive, artistic and brilliant 7yr old… and a wonderful big sister!

Arriving home a couple days after Thanksgiving, with our gorgeous bundle… jumping right back into our daily business, racing on to school, groceries, getting Christmas shopping done, holiday parties, and visiting friends with our new bundle.. etc. I immediately began to wonder if everyone who adopts a child that is not Caucasian…. experiences the transition the same as me. I say me because my husband doesn’t spend everyday, all day with her.. its more sporadic and he loves the attention, he is so proud... Personally, I am speaking of the stares, the comments, the questions, Morons and their idiotic statements, even the comments from family about her skin, uniqueness, being a great dancer because she is Latin, to the, how dark will she get… ! Then there is the, is she yours, is that her real sister, can she speak Spanish…. does she speak Spanish (right at 6months old, sure), where’d you get her, how much was she, are you going to tell her she’s adopted .. ughhh…. As a adoptive Mom to a child of a race other than what her father, sister and myself are…. Questions began to flood my mind. The worries, the fears. I was unfamiliar with raising a child of “color”…..Was I/will I meeting her needs regarding being an adopted child, providing her with culture from Guatemala, her birth country, the racism, although, not intentional, its still there!.... And who would I go to with all my gazillions of questions. I was having trouble swallowing it all. I wanted to …. Ummmm, make some rude comments back to these strangers at times ! I understood what they were saying and why but, it sounded so stupid, hurtful and racist at times! And my 7 yr old was getting sick of the attention not being ever directed at her…..! I now enter stores with my head down or locked on my kids eyes… and often act like I don’t’ hear comments to avoid conversations.

About 8 or 9 months into our daughter being home… I began to wonder…Inspired one night after one of the parent to parent support groups I was attending about adoption resources, I went on a serious web search for local connections for my family...…I soon leaned that the area in which we live…. lacked the “community” of adoptive families that I was looking for and needed. There is a parent to parent support group but, it only filled a small piece of what I needed and didn’t help form any lasting friendships with other adoptive families, besides Jody, my Co moderator of CNHAF. It was the same families each week…. and always under attended. I also, felt my girls needed to be exposed to other "families like ours". The culture and race, and being adopted piece… The there is the being a parent to a Hispanic child in a very white community… I felt I had to create the network…I wanted my children to feel, see and share experiences with families who look the same as us…. I didn’t want them to “stick out” all the time….. And, I wanted our network to expand beyond kids from Guatemala.


Of course, I was very familiar with the many many yahoo groups on adoption and support, all the adoption forums, members blogs, and web friends all over the US, etc…. In fact, in the beginning stages of our research for our adoption… and during the long wait of our baby’s homecoming, tho it felt like an eternity, all of 5 months…. I joined many groups, left many, joined new ones etc.... I think this is typical. .especially for a newly SAHM … I was bored, left to over think everything about adoption.. LOL! It can be dangerous. But, the good news..... I created a group and its everything I needed!

I figured I could get exactly what I was looking for if I created the group myself. If it was a flop, then it was a flop. I’d wait, let it evolve.....and begin to meet the needs of the members as they joined and voiced what they were looking for and needed in a local group. Amazingly enough, I found that the need was there. Immediately folks began to join and tell their friends. They were thrilled with the group and wanting the same for some time. Our group continues to expand in information, events, members and daily support.


So, incase your wondering our group is called Coastal NH Adoptive Families….To date we have 140 members. We are a very active online group as well as socially involved. We meet weekly for play dates, monthly for family picnics, frequent Moms nights, book/ movie and discussion groups, subgroups like singles, and smaller play dates.…. We are also currently working on a couple side projects on adoption awareness.

This is our opening page on our website…..

CNHAF WE ARE…

Adoptive and foster families living in the Seacoast Area of New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Maine… We welcome families considering adoption or fostering as well. We reach families from Portland ME to Boston MA~ and everywhere in-between!

WE ARE…

A parent organized, and family supported site, created with the purpose of bringing families together to share info, activities and friendship.

TOGETHER WE…

Support one another, share information and stories, vent, celebrate and brainstorm the many questions and experiences we face as parents and families raising adopted children, of multiracial, multicultural backgrounds, blended families and more.

WE HOST…

* Family oriented picnics and gatherings monthly, open to all
*Weekly play dates, open to all Special interest gatherings (singles, specific countries or origin, waiting families, etc.)
*Book and movie groups for parents, with adoption as the theme
*Online calendar of local and regional adoption events
*A supportive online chat group, moderated by an adoptive parent, allowing you to network on a daily basis.


Are you in our area? Want to check us out!!!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CNHAF

Let me know what you think!
Julie

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